So, my life is changing in the MOST MAJOR way.
I’m having a baby!
I know crazy right?
So, back story, even with how terrible a blogger I am this is something you would think I would have shared right? Well if I has known, I would have.
Seriously, I went MONTHS not knowing I was pregnant so when I finally found out, it was SO late in the game.
I got pregnant in November of 2016, unbeknownst to me. Then I spent the Christmas holiday with family. In January I took my first pregnancy test, which came back negative. I went to a doctor once I got back to law school and after an inconclusive test she told me I wasn’t pregnant. A few weeks later, when I kept feeling strangely, no morning sickness or other pregnancy symptoms, just the feeling that something was not quite right, I went to another doctor who assured me I wasn’t pregnant and that my body was undergoing pregnancy-like changes, due to a chemical reaction like pregnancy but without an actual fertilized egg to grow into a fetus. Yeah, the human body is weird and medical science is confusing but who am I to question a doctor, and honestly, I didn’t want to be pregnant so I more inclined to believe a negative diagnosis, even one that was a little convoluted.
That being said, in May when I went home for summer vacation my mother took one look at me and sent me to a doctor for a blood test and an ultrasound and sure enough, there was my bouncing baby boy, with five months worth of baking already on him.
Not going to lie, I was scared out of my mind. I’ve never had a baby before, obviously, and I will be raising this baby mostly by myself. Mr. Boyfriend lives in North Carolina, so he won’t be with me baby and I as often as we would like. We’re obviously going to visit back and forth as much as possible but that still leaves me and baby alone together for much of the time. Plus, I’m still in law school. Yes, it is my last year, which is a blessing. Can you imagine if I was going into my first year of law school and having a baby within a week of school starting?
But, that being said, I couldn’t be more excited. It’s the oddest thing where I alternate between fear and anticipation. Like I don’t think I’m ready to be anybody’s Mommy, but, at the same time, I’m over the moon that the baby will be here soon.
Oh, if I didn’t mention, I’m having a baby boy. His name will be Master Lorencio Dewayne Connor, which I think is a perfectly handsome name for a little man. Master Lorencio is due August 25, 2017, so he’ll be here soon.
I’ll keep y’all updated about him once he gets here but I don’t think I’ll be sharing too much about him online, just because he’s a baby and I want to maintain his little infant privacy. I will share his nursery, and my baby shower and of course all of the adorable little baby things that I get for him.
I guess, more than anything, I wanted too tell you all how excited I am for this journey. How scared I am that I’ll make a mistake, but how much I’m looking forward to the process. I’ve never considered what kind of mother I’ll make because it’s always been something that was gonna happen in the future not something with a date that was guaranteed. Now that he’s coming I can’t imagine life without him but I know my life is gonna change in more ways than I can even imagine. It’ all about him now, making him happy, keeping him safe, maintain his health. That means I have to change my life to give him the best life possible. It’s such an awesome responsibility, one that I don;t take lightly.
I just felt the need to share with someone, the pressure and the anxiety, but also the expectation and excitement.
I’M GONNA BE A MOMMY!